Leader 22

“Today’s Kool Is Tomorrow’s Kold” – Sir Henry Neville

2005 began life stuffed to the beak with promise. Looking out of the Bunker window now, as November dies & December coughs & sneezes it’s way onto this mortal coil, all we are left with is everything we had to begin with: a turkey carcass.

The over-powering stench of nouveau populism permeates the atmosphere like tear gas. Compromise is endemic. Be careful what you wish for, the brand directors are monitoring your every thought. To them it’s an opportunity to maximise potential.

Check your profile in the mirror on your way out of the door. Crimes against fashion are nothing new. Wait a minute, haven’t we seen that look somewhere before? That font, that production technique, that opinion, that stance, that attitude, that aesthetic, that work ethic – all seem vaguely familiar.

Originality is still a sin. Confirmation is omnipresent. Media moles control souls. All the hymnbooks have been stolen from the church of the poison pen & the congregation are singing blind. The high alter is decorated with graven images. Idolatry reigns supreme.

Money buys respect, money opens doors, money pays off indiscretions - money charts records. Don’t believe for one moment that they are not after yours. They don’t care what colour it is. Profit does not discriminate. The customer is always far right. Beware of false prophets:

Nerd kool is back with a vengeance (I believe in justice – I believe in getting the bastards). Talking thrift-shop chic homesick blues to a whole new generation. A tragic tale of love lost to a dancer. A savvy slice of joyous prog-pop. The best clothes hipsterville has ever seen. Why does everyone want to be part of urch-pops cheekiest gang? Sweeping melodies will have you holding back the tears. Created by the coolest turntable & microphone collective ever. Who else could mix Jethro Tull & Test Department so effortlessly? At the forefront of the New Yorkshire explosion in the sky with their DIY jazz-chamber-pop. A moody, artful slice of fashion-pop. Their forthcoming LP is an adrenaline rush of dirty punk rock. Ironically, this pair are seen as the Lennon and McCartney of Norwegian hip-hop. With the incontinence of a hospitalised Johnny Cash & the attention span of a senile Dylan, straight out of Dudley, Alabama, this boy is a one-man powerhouse of worshipable proportions. America’s answer to the Icelandic Monkeys, a heavenly slice of barking pie. Gangly, ghostly, nervy folk pop that will haunt your waking nightmares from now until forever (& that’s a mighty long time).

Keep it futile.
Guy Debored – tMx 22 – 11/05
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