The Ulcers debut LP (reviewed in the “Reviews” section) has been causing an awful rumpus all over the tMx Bunker since it arrived from Damaged Goods: www.Damagedgoods.Co.Uk
A right proper cacophony of old school influences & integrity, it snarls & sniffs at your black shoes & tears at the reconstituted flares flapping round your ankles. To say The Ulcers have energy is a bit like saying it’s embarrassing to be an American. Dead. On. The. Money.
Mike Twat ‘caught up’ with The Ulcers in between packed gigs to quiz them about the relevance & otherwise of their finely honed punk rock n roll combo:
MR POTTS - guitar & white shiny shoes (not around to answer the interview).
ERIC BANCONSTRIP - drums & itchy bum.
STEVE LEGEND - vocals & beer belly.
LORD CUNBLUSTER - bass & dry martini.
NB: P-TEX (WHO PLAYED ON THE ALBUM) LEFT US TO PLAY WITH THE SHORT BUS WINDOW LICKERS AND KOSTAS IS DOING PAVAROTTI IMPERSONATIONS IN A DIRTY RESTAURANT UP IN SKEGNESS.
TrakMARX - You all have history in various London groups. How did Mr Potts, Eric Baconstrip, Kostas & P-Tex all develop ULCERS at the same time?
BACONSTRIP: THE BEST WAY TO DEVELOP ULCERS IS TO MAINTAIN A BAD CORPORAL HYGIENE, TO LIVE ON ROTTEN FOOD AND KINGS CROSS PROSTITUTES, TO PLAY GIGS WITH THE SEWERS OF THE STRAND (LORD CUNBLUSTER'S OTHER PROJECT) - OR YOU CAN ALSO RUB A LIBERTINES RECORD ON YOUR FACE TO GET A MOUTH ULCER.
LEGEND: They were put in a test tube and left to fester in a lab where they turned into a dirty Rock'N'Roll ball of mess!
CUNBLUSTER: THE BEST WAY TO DEVELOP ULCERS IS TO PLAY IN THE ULCERS. OR YOU CAN TRY SWALLOWING SHARP STONES OR RUSTY NAILS. IN FACT, I THINK YOU SHOULD GO AND TRY IT NOW. THEN DRINK SOME VINEGAR.
TrakMARX - "Hot Skin & Cold Cash" is one fuck of a calling card. The press release cites New Bomb Turks, The Rip Offs & Supercharger - but we can hear Crime, Johnny Moped, Slaughter & The Dogs, Eater. Where did The ULCERS sound come from?
LEGEND: We plug our guitars and stuff into mics and the sound comes from there!!
BACONSTRIP: THANX FOR THE COMPLIMENT! YEAH, I DIG THOSE BANDS YOU MENTION (WE USED TO COVER SLAUGHTER & THE DOGS "the bitch" FOR A WHILE). I FUCKING LOVE GOOD OL'77 PUNK ROCK - STUFF LIKE THE USERS, THE VALVES, THE CORTINAS & THE NOSEBLEEDS.
CUNBLUSTER: I'M SORRY THOSE BANDS YOU MENTIONED ARE A BIT NEW TO ME. JOHNNY CRIME AND THE MOPEDS? DOG EATER AND THE SLAUGHTERS? SORRY? TOO MODERN FOR MY TASTES.
TrakMARX - How did "Golden Showers" shift - & how are sales of the LP doing?
LEGEND: We seem to sell stuff pretty well at the shows when we remember to get it all out and show people!
BACONSTRIP: NOT TOO BAD, I VE SOLD ONE TO MY MUM, BUT DIDN’T MANAGE TO CONVINCE MY GIRLFRIEND TO BUY ONE YET.
CUNBLUSTER: I'M NOT PLAYING ON EITHER OF THE RECORDS SO I HOPE THEY SINK WITHOUT TRACE.
TrakMARX - Kerrang & Metal Hammer have reviewed you. How does it feel being ignored by the NME?
BACONSTRIP: PRETTY GOOD!IT MUST BE A SIGN OF BEING A GOOD BAND, TO BE IGNORED OR DISLIKED BY THE NME.I HAVENT SEEN THE OTHER 2 REVIEWS.
LEGEND: I think the NME did review us (if I'm correct!) But they don't know what they're talking about anyway, most of these main stream things! Didn't they compare us to Rocket From The Crypt?? Silly sods!
CUNBLUSTER: AS LONG AS WE PICK UP GOOD REVIEWS IN NECROPHILIAC MONTHLY, INCEST TODAY, AND MODERN CHILD ABUSE MAGAZINE WE CAN LIVE WITHOUT THE NME.
TrakMARX - According to Kings Reach Tower - we are living in the most exciting times for gtr rock since the hissy spitty days of 76/77. What does it feel like at the sharp end from your perspective?
LEGEND: It's impossible to compare for the likes of us, I think! I was born in '76 so couldn't tell ya what it was like then - but I'm sure none of us are doing anything different or any better or worse! I've been doing stuff like this for over 10 years and I have to say the whole 'Punk Rock' scene is better now than back in the early 90's...We're not playing to 4 people nowadays (well, not often!) So, anyway, can it compare? God knows!! Are we having fun? Hell yeah!!
BACONSTRIP: THATS TRUE, COMPARED TO A FEW YEARS AGO IT IS MAYBE EASIER NOW TO GET GIGS IF YOU’RE IN A PUNK ROCK BAND. BANDS LIKE THE HIVES AND STUFF MADE IT MORE POPULAR?!
CUNBLUSTER: I'VE NEVER BEEN AT THE SHAPE END OF ANYTHING - APART FROM A STORMTROOPER'S BAYONET IN WORLD WAR TWO. I WAS BORN IN 1936, SO I THOUGHT THE MUSIC OF 76/77 WAS A BLOODY RACKET. ALL MUSIC IS A BLOODY RACKET. APART FROM GERMAN MILITARY BANDS.
TrakMARX - What do you make of The Paddingtons, The Unstrung, The Others, etc?
BACONSTRIP: SORRY, I DONT KNOW THOSE BANDS. IS NICOLE KIDMAN SINGING IN THE OTHERS? THERE ARE SOME GREAT UK BANDS I LIKE RIGHT NOW: THE REAL LOSERS, BLACK TIME, LOS RAW GOSPELS, THE POKERS...
LEGEND: Never heard of em!!
CUNBLUSTER: SAME HERE, NEVER HEARD OF THEM. WHO ARE THEY? HAVE THEY EVER APPEARED IN NECROPHILIAC MONTHLY, INCEST TODAY OR MODERN CHILD ABUSE MAGAZINE? IF NOT, I WOULDN'T HAVE COME ACROSS THEM.
TrakMARX - Will THE ULCERS be doing any guerilla gigs?
BACONSTRIP: YEAH, NEXT GIG WE LL BE WEARING ARMY UNDERPANTS AND CAMOUFLAGE SOCKS.
LEGEND - We can dress as monkeys if you want...Whatever turns you on.
CUNBLUSTER: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? LIKE TURN UP UNANNOUNCED AND PLAY A SHOW? IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO GET PEOPLE TO COME AND SEE US WHEN THEY KNOW WE'RE PLAYING.
TrakMARX - "Hot Skin & Cold Cash" is the 1st British Punk record we've heard in donkey's years that's good enough to be on Estrus Records. Are THE ULCERS bothered about the USA?
LEGEND: More Rip-Off Records than Estrus I would say but hey, who'd complain! Would I like to play in the USA...Fuck yeah! When's the flight??
BACONSTRIP: THANX FOR THE COMPLIMENT! I’D LOVE TO PLAY THE USA WITH THE ULCERS, THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MUCH BETTER SCENE OVER THERE. OUR LP WAS SUPPOSED TO COME OUT ON A U.S LABEL ORIGINALLY - RIP-OFF RECORDS.
CUNBLUSTER: I'VE ALWAY'S DREAMED ABOUT PLAYING SHOWS IN AMERICA. I'VE ALSO ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT FILLING BARBIE DOLLS WITH LOVE CUSTARD AND THEN SLICING THEIR HEAD'S OFF WITH A STORMTROOPER'S BAYONET WHILE DRESSED AS POLISH TRAIN DRIVER AND LISTENING TO THE MUSIC OF JOHN DENVER PLAYED BY A GERMAN MILITARY BAND. ONE DAY I HOPE ONE OF THESE DREAMS WILL COME TRUE.
TrakMARX - Describe THE ULCERS live.
LEGEND: Blood splattered Punk Rock'N'Roll that'll make you shit in yerself and have a party in yer crap covered pants!
BACONSTRIP: 4 x HANDSOME REATARDS PLAYING THE ROCK'N'ROLL TO GET LAID AND DRINK FREE BOOZE.
CUNBLUSTER: I DON'T KNOW. I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM.
TrakMARX - What can we expect from THE ULCERS next?
BACONSTRIP: WE GOT 2 SPLIT SINGLES COMING OUT SOON: ONE ON P-TRASH Records IN GERMANY (WITH THE MANIKINS FROM SWEDEN), AND ONE ON WILDEAGLE Records IN AUSTRALIA (WITH MY OTHER BAND, THE SIDEKICKS). THEN WE LL DO ANOTHER ALBUM FOR DAMAGED GOODS RECORDS - IF THEY STILL WANT US!
LEGEND - Next 7" is a split with the Manikins and should be out in November. Plenty of great shows in the pipeline including the great Stardumb Winter Rumble in March 2005 in Belgium! Plus plenty more rock'N'Roll coming your way for sure!!!
CUNBLUSTER: EH, ALL OF THE ABOVE I SUPPOSE. AND HOPEFULLY WE'LL HAVE A NEW FLAVOUR OF CRISPS NAMED AFTER US. WE'RE IN NEGOTIATIONS WITH WALKERS ABOUT IT NOW. IT'S EITHER GONNA BE CHEESY ULCER OR SMOKEY ULCER. PRAWN ULCER WOULD BE SILLY.
Jean Encoule tMx 17 11/04