dog town diaries
Dog Town
The Dog Town Diaries has rapidly become one of our top bombimg sites in recent months. Featuring short stories by Col Jones & illustrations by William Brown, the action centres on the mythical conurbation of Dogtown:

Dogtown is doused in air of mystery & suspicion most of the time, in very much the same way a Guy is doused in petrol before the burning commences. Populated by strange-town characters like Donny Moonshot, Jenny Fish, Jim-Boy Lewis & The Grinning Lady, Dogtown is not the kind of place you want to get caught with your trousers down whilst shopping for marrows, Mrs Robinson.

Dogtown reeks of disillusionment & decay - the once bright hopes of the Tranquil Generation have faded to Visage & any hint that salvation may be present in the folds of the self-styled Summer Of Tomorrow are ironed out forthwith. The Happy Town bus has seen better days - the rust holds it together like a pair of stubbornly body-stained underpants. Paradise Beach is deserted except for some kelp & the hull of an old ship that rots in the tide. Sarah has a Zimmerman frame these days & Joan Suez absolutely refuses to answer the phone.

The old folks in Amnesia Towers may spurn their medication with glee, but it won't make Infinity Tuesday pass any quicker. The Milkshake Girls have broken the bachelor hearts of more young men than they care to remember, but they're still awaiting payment! immediately recognised the subtle blend of genius & ingenuity being employed by it's creators & rapidly dispatched Guy Debored in the general direction of Dogtown to lightly grill Col Jones over a medium density faux chemise grill. Needless to say, it all got a bit so real.

trakMARX - Dogtown Diaries features the work of yr. good self & William Brown. What are your stories, what brought you together & what's the master plan?

Col Jones – William’s a pretty successful artist who happens to have his studio about two miles from my house. I teach people Welsh by altering their brainwaves. I use music and stories to charm them into a trance so that their conscious mind is bypassed. I guess it’s a modern form of Shamanism. William was my guinea pig for the technique. We’ve worked on a number of things since then, including the Dogtown Diaries spinoff novelette “Elastic Black Dog”. We wrote, drew and filmed it one Sunday morning in William’s studio. It’s sort of like an impossible half-echo before the scream.
The Dogtown Diaries is my last final stab at mediocrity: a new life in Hell. There’ll be a book, CD, and of course the current novelette and artwork. The website lets people look at some pages from the diary, and also hear me squeal, like a trapped rat on a razorblade.

trakMARX - Dogtown could possibly be fictional - is it based on anywhere in particular?

Col - Yeah, sure. You wanna go there? Jump the Nova Express, get off at Desolation Row, and take the third left after Beasley Street. Ask the Vintage Kid for a map reference.

trakMARX - Your stories are riddled with eclectic characters - where do you mine your inspiration?

Col - I trawl the waters beneath the brainwaves. There’s a thin fine thread of delight from the automatic writing of the Surrealists to the cut-ups of William Burroughs and his Dream Machine - a primitive brain-altering device. I believe Kurt Cobain bought one.

trakMARX - If there was a soundtrack to The Dogtown Diaries, which bands/artists would make the cut?

Col – Today’s shortlist includes: Captain Beefheart, The Fall, The Ramones, The Ruts, The Clash, Can, Neu, Gorkey’s, Buzzcocks, T.Rex, John Cooper Clarke and the Only Ones. Me too, also.

trakMARX - Where can we get hold of releases by The Milkshake Girls & Jack Demon & The Scuba Gang?

Col - Try Judas the Smiler’s Cool Emporium Room. You might find a copy of “Hollow Song”, by the Vapours of Infinity, if you’re really very lucky.

trakMARX - Talk us through the Hipster Wars & it's effects on The Tranquil Generation.

Col - The first Hipster War was all to do with Violator technology. Ruby Stammer bought the rights with the Gargoyle Gang, but then King Groover stepped in with his Interferer Wavefront Masking Device. It was all too much Bad Alpha for the Tranks, I’m afraid. Theta Williams, lead singer with the Plus Fours, is still in a coma in the Halibut-Morgan Clinic for the terminally interrupted.

trakMARX - Who have you got pencilled in to play the roll of the Hollywood Christ in the forthcoming action docu-soap reality TV version of Dogtown Diaries?

Col - Ken Dodd, obviously. Maybe get Professor Stephen Hawkin to do a voiceover. Get a nice transatlantic feel.

trakMARX - How would Dogtown feel about animation?

Col - Moved. Yeah, do it with a new look every week. I’ll get the Foolscap Boys onto it now.

trakMARX - Can you be any more unspecific about the type of business undertaken inside the hallowed portals of The Black Circus?

Col – It’s all to do with salvation or damnation, or both. The Grinning Lady sees all.

trakMARX - Has Donkey-Boy got any conceivable chance of scoring my girlfriend?

Col - Dunno. Does she like furry men with lice?

trakMARX - Do you have any subscription details for Our Pirate TV Network Franchise Operation?

Col – We’ll have a number of subscription options in this time-slot soon. Obviously, the Premium Channels (Golf-Opera, The Voodoo Channel) will cost extra, films and sport will be free. We’re trying to get a series of old Vicky Vulva films too, if we can sneak them past the censors.

trakMARX - What is it about clean queer streets that scares the normally redoubtable Gargoyle Gang so?

Col - Cleanliness is next to godliness.

trakMARX - Billy Hologram is often accused of being too three-dimensional - you know him better than we do - is there any truth in this?

Col - Billy Hologram is a false messiah who owes me a tenner. It’s him you need to keep away from your girlfriend:

“Look at the Z-axis on that! Gabba gabba hey, missus.”

trakMARX - Have they got any of those Crass t-shirts left in Johnny Antichrist's Thrift Shop?

Col – Wouldn’t think so. You might pick up a Tranquil Generation love spoon though.

trakMARX - "An Oddity Of Delights" is what it says on the box - what can we expect next from Col Jones & William Brown?

Col – I’m still looking for the place where thoughts come from. A CD in the new year, obviously. Another booklet, possibly with another artist. Generally plug on with the Diaries. William will be in the East-West Gallery, Notting Hill soon, I believe.

A flotilla of product is available from the Dogtown Ethical Marketing concession located inconveniently in the cyber foyer of:

We would heartily recommend you invest in a copy of the new cult classic, "Elastic Black Dog", or one of a range of fantastically executed art prints available from the site.

Guy Debored - - Nov 2002
More real than real:

contact - the needle & the damage done