Letters to the editor
sharpen yer nib
This month’s mailbag is managed by Guy Debored.

Dear trakMARX,
Thanks for the recent Billy Childish article & live review. It’s about time Billy got the acclaim he deserves. If I have one criticism of either piece, it’s that you neglected to mention that I have been into Billy far longer than the rest of you lot out there in the commercial sector & that only I know the true aesthetic & artistic value of Billy Childish & anything any of you fly by nights may have to say is far too little far too late.

Smug Guy Records

G.D. – If you wanna get personal, motherfucker, why not pop round to my place for cocktails at 6 - & while we’re at it, I’ll show you my pair of signed Pop Rivets 45’s.

Dear Jean Encoule,
My 14 year old sister & I love to masterbate using our 43ft platinum dildo whilst imagining what you & the rest of your staff look like. Smell my fingers, I’m getting wetter that Jack White on a Romanian film set in the December rain. Come and fuck us both soon. Check out our new selection of photos – www.russiandoggirlsswallow.com - they’re hot!

Love & pain,
Dagmar & Natasha

G.D. – Courtney, for fuck’s sake leave us alone. Can’t you take a joke?

Yo – word up, motherfuckers.
I’ve been busting my not inconsiderable arse for eons backing my rhymes & beats with the handle Trakmarx. This hip-hop nation of Islam duly demands that you cease using the holy alias of Farakhan (TrakMARx) for your white boy punk sissy rock shit website (or whatever the fuck it is you do) with immediate effect (efx) or we’ll send Professor Gruff right round to bore your arses rigid.

Suck my dick,
Trakmarx (the rap star)

G.D. – Ouch, motherfucker, you’re biting our style. Carnt you see we’re taking it to the T.O.P. on the D.E.X. tonite. Is Westwood in the house? Have we got a translator. Does anyone give a shit?

Dear Nick Kuntz,
Boy, you’re one lazy arsed son of a motherfucker. Stop sitting around reflecting on the memories of a shit for nothing career & spare us the book. Write some more nasty stuff, that’s all your good for!


G.D. – Don’t beat around the bush, Monica. Go & see a doctor.

Just a quick note to say thanx for turning me on to The Pikeys – they ruck.

Johnny Spangles

Oi, Encoule.
You pious, po-faced, pig ugly, cocaine free, hitless wanker. You suck, I don’t. Elevator – going down.

Ginge Gilberto
Target House, SuponA.

G.D – Glad to see your picking up some Radio 2 airplay, Simon.

H/e/y, trakMARX.
Why don’t you feature loads of adverts from dubious companies selling us tons of shit we don’t need like all the other magazines, websites, zines?

Splash my boots,

G.D. – Tod, it’s because we care – a lot.

From the next issue we’ll be rewarding the composer of the most entertaining missive fired in our general direction with an exclusive prize of great value. We would advise that the contents of this letters page is constantly monitored by the CIA so, please, watch what you say. We’d hate you to disappear on us. Mark your mail – “Letters To The Editor” in the subject box & hit: wastebin@trakmarx.com


contact wastebin@trakMARX.com trakMARX.com - the needle & the damage done